Met Police 0 Dulwich Hamlet 2

Ryman Isthmian League Division One South

Saturday 9^th December 2006

Your faithful scribe has been musing, poring through ancient lore and even older puns, but to no avail. The bard of Avon has provided not a jot of inspiration. The sainted Stuart Hall, so often the last resort for the man in need of a silken tongue, a piece of homespun whimsy or a pun, so groan-inducing, even a Butlin's Redcoat would baulk, failed to offer succour. Even a delve into dog-eared back issues of the Radio Times proved fruitless. "For what?" you, the long-suffered reader, may ask. A Dickson of Dock Green leitmotif for this missive from Imber Court but "Dickson Lamps Blues" was as far as it went and even that may be too obscure for those that have not yet reached their half-century. So let the tale tell itself, a smash and grab raid from the prolific Chris Dickson, aided and abetted by his accomplices in green and white, the boys in blue chasing the young South London ragamuffins like the old village bobby, puffing and wheezing in pursuit of a pinched helmet.

Why change? So Dulwich didn't bar the recall of Chris Lewington between the sticks to fend off the challenge of yet another loanee usurper of his gloves. For the Met lads, injuries, none I was assured from falling down the stairs, restricted their choices with both Ryan Gray and Craig Brown failing to recover in time. Surprisingly the coppers' manager, Jim Cooper, chose to leave one-time Hamlet hero, Luke Cornwall, on the bench, perhaps wary that his erstwhile team-mates would know too much of his trickery and negate his influence.

The usual carpet-like turf of Imber Court, lovingly tended by the taxpayers' mite, had suffered in the inclement weather. Soon it looked as if the whole mounted division of the Met had tramped across it as divots appeared at will. The two teams eyed each other, tested and teased before the game sprang into life as the quarter hour approached. First Lewington was down smartly to keep out a low drive from Ben Abbey who had escaped on the left, Justyn Richards providing a timely block as Dave Newman followed up. Soon after Will Packham found himself stretching high to fingertip a finely struck volley from Shawn Beveney, standing on the brink of the area. The corner almost had a fortunate outcome as the ball ricocheted off Lewis Tozer but into the arms of a waiting Packham.

Another former Hamlet player, Jon Daly, skipper of the boys in blue but more poacher than gamekeeper, came within a whisker of giving his former fans something to smile about as he somehow screwed a swirling Kenny Beaney free kick against his own upright. The peril persisted but after making the room for a shot from 20 yards out, Beveney spooned his effort over the crossbar.

Trickery from the wizard of wing play, Phil Williams, lit up a cloudy day as he disco danced his way through the Police cordon, then darkness fell as cynically his joyful run was halted, scythed down by Paul Barrowcliff on the cusp of glory and the edge of the area. A mere caution for the offender, a decision symptomatic of a disappointing display of officialdom. An over elaborate free kick routine meant the offence went unpunished as Lee Gledhill was able to charge down Beaney's eventual strike. Yet another free kick came closer, Beaney's curling effort palmed away by a diving Packham at the back stick but three minutes to go the deadlock would be snapped with a goal classical in its inception yet clinical in its execution. Tozer launched a Dickson seeking missile up field, the goal hungry striker, holding off the last defender before neatly lobbing the ball over the advancing Packham who looking back more in hope than expectation as the ball dropped into the net behind him.

Second half began with Hamlet attacking, Williams weaving his way into the box but failing to loose the killer blow. A minute later a Tozer was again on the end of penalty box pinball but once more the goal survived as the ball was stabbed at Packham. Up went the Hamlet barricades as the Police laid into their guests, blue attacks snuffed out a resilient green wall, where even Williams was forced to rein in his attacking instincts to police the threat of Tony Finn on the left wing.

A double substitution for the Police as they fought for an equaliser, Barry Stevens and Stuart Harte taking the place of Gary Elliott and Simon Gregory. Allowed space in the middle of the park Harte's run paved the way for Craig Brown to open a wound on the Hamlet flank, cutting in from the side but blazing his low strike wide of the far post. His fellow replacement Stevens was soon employed in defensive mode, a last ditch tackle denying Beveney after Roberts' crunching tackle had set up the big Guyanese for a helter-skater charge up field.

Finn got the better of his shadow, shaking off Williams, only for his strike to be deflected into the side netting. The corner caused a few jitters, Barrowcliff's flicked header blocked, a follow-up by Brown similarly thwarted. Beveney then hit the upright having robbed Packham of the ball before marching unchallenged into the box (after all where's a copper when you need one?), only to rattle his shot against the post from an oblique angle. Finn denied by Lewington, David Moore by Packham. A contentious free kick, a hand seen by none by the man in black, wasted by the Police as Finn winged the ball goalwards only to shave the roof of the net. Referee Regan was less eagle-eyed when Dickson burst into the box, only to fall victim to a clear shove in the back from Newman but with the Hamlet man not goin' dahn all Regan wanted to do was leave it. Dickson would have his vengeance as time wasted away. Rather than play out time near the corner flag, one last attack from the Hamlet saw the ball slipped across to Dickson who created the space on the edge of the box to drill a stinging drive into the bottom corner of the net. Evening all!

Teams:

MPFC: Will Packham; Lee Gledhill (Capt) (Ian Batten 90); Gary Elliott (Barry Stevens 59); Simon Gregory (Stuart Harte 60); Dave Newman; Paul Barrowcliff; Craig Brown; Jon Daly; Ben Abbey; James Evans; Tony Finn

Substitutes not used: Luke Cornwall; Stuart MacKenzie (GK)

DHFC: Chris Lewington; Lewis Tozer; Gavin Dayes; Justyn Roberts; Jamie Coyle; Jake Daniel; David Moore (Nicolas Plumain 90); Kenny Beaney; Shawn Beveney; Chris Dickson; Phil Williams

Substitutes not used: Cedric Meeko; Billy Warner; Jason Turley; Sol Pinnock

Attendance: 146

Officials:

Referee: Mr I Regan

Assistant Referees: Mr W Ingram & Mr A Roberts

Goalscoring:

0-1 DHFC Chris Dickson 42^nd minute

0-2 DHFC Chris Dickson 90^th minute (+2)