Sutton United 7 (SEVEN) Dulwich Hamlet 1

Sutton United 7 (SEVEN) Dulwich Hamlet 1
Ryman League Premier Division
Saturday 3rd March 2001

Dante’s Inferno tells of a nightmarish journey deep into the bowels of Hell where lost souls scream in torment until the end of time for their sins. Despite its classic status, the tale is wildly inaccurate for the odyssey ends at the ninth level of Hell. If the great poet had ventured on he might have discovered many more levels deeper into the pits of despair eventually arriving at that most terrible of places the lowest level or the 22nd level as it was known in the days of the one known as Browne. Here the most anguished of souls scream in vain at 11 men in pink and blue, hoping against hope that their exhortations might induce victory. In the suburban hell that is Sutton once again those exhortations came to naught.
The worst defeat since Enfield put eight past the Hamlet in 1995, this reverse was all the more galling for the paucity of the opposition. With Sutton going through an atrocious spell of results, the opportunity was there for Dulwich to claim some valuable points, but the manner of capitulation was astounding with nearly every effort on target finding the back of the net. If there were to be any excuses it could not come in the form of the line-up for Dulwich were back to full strength after last week’s embarrassing exit from the London Senior Cup at Ford. The only change to the expected team was a new face in the shape of Paul Sears, who had played against the Hamlet for the hosts in the Surrey Senior Cup match just over a month ago.
Unsurprisingly Sutton’s pitch was bearing its usual resemblance to a ploughed field crossbred with Blackpool beach, making wing play difficult and hindering Dulwich’s attempts to utilise their strengths down the flanks. When they did manage to get the ball in to the middle out of the morass that passed as a pitch, Sutton’s defenders proved dominant in the air with Carl Bartley and Joe Nartey frequently coming off second best in the aerial battles. Another major stumbling block proved to be the gargantuan figure of Andy Riley, once of the Hamlet. Although he appeared to be playing in a kit borrowed from the matchday mascot, the evergreen Riley made smart work of sweeping up behind his defence and ensuring his young keeper, Tommy Dunn, was rarely troubled in the opening exchanges. The nearest came when a some neat passing saw a Nartey backheel send Jimmy Sugrue away but his chip to the back post proved too high for new boy Sears.
In the 19th minute came a moment of controversy when Dulwich were denied a clear-cut penalty. Sugrue’s chip behind the defence was heading for Nartey when an errant leg whipped his feet from under a yard inside the box. In spite of plaintiff cries from the travelling faithful, the man in black was unmoved.
This denial of justice was to be a key turning point in the contest for 4 minutes later the Suburbanites were a goal to the good. A corner was nodded on by Nko Ekoku and with the Dulwich defence apparently nodding off, in stole central defender Chris Boothe to stab the ball into the corner of the net for the opener. Worst was to follow for a stunned Dulwich within two minutes. Lax defending at a freekick and former Hamlet striker Paul Whitmarsh capitalised on enough open space to build a new ground to fire an unstoppable volley past the stranded Les Cleevely and into the roof of the net. Vain pleas for offside when unheeded. Suddenly three points that had seemed a distinct possibility at kick-off seemed as distant as ever.
A further blow came on the half-hour as the industrious Sugrue left the field for treatment to an injury, only to fail to return, his place taken by Veli Hakki.
There came a glimmer of hope came within minutes. Captain Ian Savage pumped the ball into the box where its bounce eluded the panicking defenders before coming into contact with the head of Sears who stooped to put a thumping header past Dunn. For a while Dulwich hopes fluttered in the winter sun, momentarily heightened by a John Dixon corner which cannoned off the cross bar, only to be cruelly shot down within seconds as a swift Sutton counter attack instigated by Ekoku saw Whitmarsh nod down a pinpoint cross from the left into the path of recent signing Rob Haworth a couple of yards out and the former Dagenham & Redbridge man drilled the ball deep into the corner of the net beyond the reach of Cleevely.
Two minutes later Dulwich came within a whisker of reducing the deficit once again. Gus Hurdle’s run cooked up the chance for Nartey to slice through the rearguard to pull the ball across goal. Sliding in a the back post came the figure of Hakki, but he arrived just too late succeeding only in turned the ball behind for a goal kick.
If Dulwich were to get any recompense in this game they would have to emulate their predecessors of 1975 who hit five goals in the last 17 minutes to overturn a 2-0 deficit.
The Hamlet started the second half brightly enough but swimmers in Jaws, were unaware of the danger stalking them. Dixon, a rare thorn in Sutton’s side, set up Hakki in the box and his chip took a marooned Dunn out of the game, only for Hurdle to over egg the cake as he took when seemed an infinity trying to tee the ball before blasting it wide of the target.
Until this point Sutton leading scorer Danny Bolt had been little more than a bit player in this local pantomime. Then a piece of good fortune and like some starlet he found himself thrust centre stage. Given his chance he did not disappoint the taciturn home support, which managed to find some semblance of a voice as he proceeded to single-handedly blow the Hamlet to oblivion.
The first of his goals came on the hour when he whipped in a freekick from close to the corner flag that eluded everyone and flew over Cleevely for number four. If that owed a little something to luck, Bolt’s second and Sutton’s fifth, coming six minutes later, was a sublime piece of finishing that gave Cleevely no chance, the forward chipping a delightful goal from the edge of the box after Richard Horner’s explosive run had carved through a static midfield. Even the Dulwich fans, by now in the depths of despair, had to admire it.
Four goals to the bad, options were few for the Hamlet. Could Declan Perkins repeat his supersub exploits from the home fixture as he replaced Hurdle? There came a straw to clutch at as Dave Richards forced a fine save out of Dunn with a close range header but with the defence in disarray as the corner came in goalscorer Sears could not find the target as he blasted wide of the mark.
On marched Sutton, determined to extinguish the memories of that setback at Champion Hill. This time Bolt was the provider his cross finding Rob Haworth, a free man in the middle to nod Number Six past Cleevely.
Four minutes from the end Bolt rounded off his extraordinary performance by completing a well-deserved hat trick rifling the ball through a shell-shocked Dulwich defence to tuck the ball into the corner of the net to complete the biggest margin of victory for the home side in this fixture.
Moments later there were muted shouts for a Dulwich penalty as Perkins was sent tumbling in the box courtesy of a shove in the back, but once again the Referee was having none of it. The way things were going, it was but a forlorn straw for a drowning man to clash at as he went under for possibly the last time. Do not be surprised if a sign with the legend “All hope abandon ye who enter here” appears above the turnstiles before next week.

Team:
1. Les Cleevely
2. John Dixon
3. Al-James Hannigan
4. Dave Richards
5. Gus Hurdle (14: Declan Perkins 68)
6. Tony Chin
7. Jimmy Sugrue (12: Veli Hakki)
8. Ian Savage
9. Carl Bartley
10. Joe Nartey
11. Paul Sears
Subs not used:
Gwynne Berry

Man of the match: Sorry Least Worst Dulwich Player: John Dixon: Fiery and industrious and refused to give up.