Dulwich 1 Gravesend & Northfleet 5

Dire. Dismal. Depressing. Diabolical. Dulwich. Yes, that is the correct scoreline up there. Just three days after shoving a huge spanner in the works of Canvey Island’s second place aspirations, the Hamlet were brought down to earth with an almighty bump after a second half collapse saw them suffer their worst defeat of the season. The second half performance in particular makes for the stuff of horror stories, so those of you of a sensitive disposition should stop reading when you get to Dulwich’s equaliser early in the second half. The final half-hour had more calamities, clangers and cock-ups than any edition of ‘It’ll Be Alright On The Night’. Unsurprisingly no one in pink and blue was laughing – well there was one, but I’m sure the nice men in the white coats could find the Chairman a quiet, padded cell somewhere.
The team that started on Monday was the same that finished on Friday with the exception of Tony Houghton. Mark McGibbon retained his place as he looked for his first Isthmian League goal, with Dean Green forming the other half of the twin strikeforce. Gravesend included former Champion Hill favourite, Steve Restarick, in their line-up and he was to cause a few headaches for the Dulwich defence before being substituted in the second half.
Like Friday, it was the home side who dominated only to fall behind, only this time the fans did not have to wait until the final minutes for it to arrive. Dulwich came close to opening the score in the seventh minute. Green turned on the left of the box, took two defenders out of contention, before squaring the ball across to McGibbon. He laid it on to the foot of Veli Hakki, but his shot took a deflection off a defender and spun behind. From the resultant corner, Danny Carroll rose above the mass of defenders to meet the ball with a thumping header goalwards. It looked to be going in under the bar until Darren Bonfield leapt like a cliché to palm the ball out and over the bar.
Gravesend made Dulwich pay for that missed opportunity when they snatched the lead against the run of play. After a failed Dulwich incursion, the visitors broke swiftly out of defence, bearing down on Les Cleevely’s goal. The ball reached Lee Spiller on the edge of the box and he despatched the ball beyond Cleevely and in off the post for the opener.
For the next half-hour Champion Hill resembled a pinball table as the ball was pinged about the field with immense speed but little purpose. It took another twenty minutes before another attempt on goal was registered with Carroll’s fierce shot from just outside the box curling high & wide. Indeed it was the supporters behind the goal who seemed to be in more danger than the Fleet goalkeeper was. Even this scribe found himself the target of a wild Kevin Smith effort late in the half. Despite all this, attack play it was the visitors who could and should have extended their lead before the half time whistle. Restarick wasted a good chance shooting wide of the left-hand post after slicing through the Dulwich defence. Then three minutes later the former Hamlet hitman struck the crossbar although there was little he knew about it. Nick Hegley turned on the edge of the box, firing in a shot that looped off Restarick, leaving Cleevely stranded as the ball bounced off the bar.
Déjà vu as the second half opened with Dulwich getting the ball in the back of the net while many supporters were still downing their half-time polystyrene cups of Bovril or polishing off their burgers. McGibbon grabbed hi second of the season and his maiden Isthmian league goal, albeit with the aid of the keeper. Indeed it was McGibbon who had originally carved open a chance for Hakki with a delightful dragback. His shot had Bonfield beaten all ends up but cracked back off the post. It ran kindly for Dulwich though and McGibbon was on hand to drive in a low cross shot for the equaliser. A warning about complacency was posted straight away when Gravesend went instantly on the attack with Restarick blasting over the bar when well placed.
At halftime, Paul Malcolm had replaced Green who had struggled to make an impression on the resilient Gravesend defence. Malcolm’s more physical presence gave the Fleet a few worries but it was not until the hour mark that either keeper was really tested – Bonfield being forced into a full length dive to hold a skidding shot by John Cross.
We have now reached the 73rd minute. (All children and those of delicate disposition should stop reading now and make their way to the emergency exits. Either that or close your eyes until I tell you to reopen them). Spiller’s second goal of the afternoon not only restored Gravesend’s lead but was also the precursor to 19 minutes of sheer mayhem and a level ineptitude not seen at Champion Hill for many a year.
Dave Powell battled through half-a-dozen lackadaisical attempts to dispossess him; indeed there was even a suspicion of a penalty, although the referee allowed an advantage. As he drew Cleevely to his right, he pulled the ball back to Spiller standing on the edge of the box. The forward doubled his tally for the afternoon with a sweetly struck volley into the unguarded net. He might even have had a hat-trick 4 minutes later but was denied as Cleevely pushed his shot around the post.
Still number three was not long away. For too long Dulwich fans have moaned about the likes of Mark Garland not grabbing goals. Obviously this has played on his subconscious and he decided that today was the day to open his account. Unfortunately, he chose to open his Gravesend account sliding to divert a right wing à la Roy Keane past Cleevely. There may be no connection but three minutes later he was withdrawn by his father and replaced with Dean Holness as all out attack policy became order of the day.
All quiet for a few minutes, but then it was Gravesend back on the attack again as a mistake by Cross gave them another opening only for substitute Che Stadhart to chip the ball over the bar from a good position.
It had been eleven minutes since the last goal, but what happened with number four we cannot begin to tell. Gravesend won a freekick out on the right-hand touchline. It was poorly taken and looked to be a comfortable claim for Cleevely. A cry of ‘keepers’ and then there was Stadhart slotting the ball into an empty net for one of the easiest goals he will ever score. Somehow, Cleevely had managed to completely miss the ball.
Number five came two minutes later and again it was the Dulwich captain who must bear the brunt of the criticism. It was his handball outside the box that gave the visitors a freekick, although Mr Pearce showed a modicum of leniency in not booking Cleevely. A poorly lined up wall then gave Jimmy Jackson a clear sight of the far corner of the goal and he sneaked in a neat curled beyond the keeper’s hands and in off the post.
Okay that’s it you can open your eyes again. It is now 5-1 to Gravesend. Dulwich could have regained a little piece within a minute of that fifth goal, but Francis Duku’s thunderous blast from outside the box took a deflection and looped over the bar. But for a fine save by Cleevely from Stadhart, things could have got worse in stoppage time. When Mr Pearce finally blew for time, the Hamlet players had the shell-shocked look of punch-drunk boxers. On Friday, the fans had seen Dr Jekyll. Easter Monday belonged to Mr Hyde.

Team:
1. Les Cleevely
2. Gary Hewitt
3. Kevin Smith
4. Danny Carroll
5. Mark Garland (14: Dean Holness 72)
6. Francis Duku
7. John Cross
8. Veli Hakki
9. Mark McGibbon
10. Dean Green (15: Paul Malcolm 45)
11. Tony Chin

Man of the match: Hmmm? No don’t tempt me, I might say something I’ll regret later.

Canvey Island 0 Dulwich Hamlet 1

What an exceeding Good Friday this was for the Hamlet. A day at the seaside and three points in the bag. Okay so Canvey Island is hardly the Costa Del Sol, but at least the locals are more welcoming, surprisingly so after Dulwich’s smash and grab act had enabled Dave Garland’s pink and blue army to wend its merry way back to SE22 with a double over the high-flying Islanders completed. That this trip was so successful was odd because, to paraphrase a certain Kevin Keegan, there was only one team in the match for almost the entire ninety minutes. How Canvey failed to score today will be pondered by eminent analysts for years to come. Les Cleevely made a couple of spectacular saves to maintain equilibrium, but a lot of the blame for their failure to hit the net must lie with the Canvey players, who tried to play too much football when the simple ball would have done the trick. They even contrived to miss a penalty, the hosts’ Steve Tilson burying his spotkick in the advertising hoardings.
The changes were rung with Mark McGibbon, coming in for Dean Green, up front and Declan Perkins, one of the few bright spots in Monday’s capitulation to Farnborough, partnering him in attack. Dean Palmer returned in defence, after having the good fortune to miss the previous game through injury.
From the start there looked likely to be only one winner of this game. They played some delightful football, passing the ball around on the floor and utilising the wings to good effect. Then they decided to attack and that’s where things started to go wrong, for try as they might they could not turn territorial advantage into goals. True the Dulwich defence worked hard to keep out the home side, but some of the openings Canvey created had goal stamped all over them.
The home side had a clear cut chance to open the scoring as early as the tenth minute, but Paul Abrahams was left clutching his head in his hands after meeting Neil Gregory’s cross with a stumbling header at the far post. Cleevely was beaten, but unbelievably Abrahams put the ball the wrong side of the upright with the goal at his mercy.
After this brush with disaster, Dulwich may have though Lady Luck was smiling favourably on them. They were doubly sure in the 22nd minute when Tilson missed his penalty. Chris Duffy, chief string-puller in the Canvey midfield, danced down the left wing before slipping the ball into Steve Parmenter. He weaved through a couple of half-hearted tackles before his progress was halted by Mark Garland’s rash tackle just inside the box. No doubt about - a penalty. Up stepped Tilson, scorer of 25 goals before today. Cleevely dived to his left; the ball went to his right – a long way to his right. This miss was so bad that probably the closest description is to compare it to Geoff Thomas’ now infamous attempt for England. Get the picture?
Canvey were forced to shuffle their defence just past the half-hour when David Kerslake, once of Tottenham, replaced the injured Steve Ward. Not that he made much difference as Ashley Harrison in goal was rarely troubled by the Dulwich strikeforce, too often caught offside by a well-marshalled rearguard. A rare break in the Canvey domination almost sent Dulwich in a halftime a goal up. Canvey’s defenders seemed stunned when Perkins snapped their offside trap. From 20 yards out, he curled in powerful that had Harrison rooted to his spot. The keeper’s countenance turned from one of horror to one of intense relief as he watched the smack against the crossbar and rebound to safety.
Somehow the Hamlet made it half-time without conceding a goal, but it was might close. If the Islanders had turned their supremacy into goals, the manger’s half-time pep talk might have sounded like Chubby Brown concert, probably with more swearing.
New half, same pattern. Canvey dominating although McGibbon and Perkins were starting to exploit little holes in the home defence. Indeed McGibbon wasted a wonderful chance in the sixth minute of the half when once again the offside trap was sprung, only for the striker to drill a low shot into the side netting. Still it nice for Harrison to get a feel of the ball, since Cleevely seemed to be hogging at the seawall end of the ground.
The Hamlet goal led a charmed life as Canvey stranglehold on the midfield grew. Both Kevin Smith and Tony Chin were forced into last ditch clearances to keep the scoreline level. Abrahams went close to scoring, Cleevely denying him. Then in the 59th minute, it was Cleevely again riding to Dulwich’s rescue with a stupendous save at full stretch to keep Gregory’s rising shot out of the net.
Dulwich attacks were becoming more numerous and more potentially dangerous. But then they were forced into a change when Perkins’ participation in the game was ended by a crunching tackle from Peter Smith that earned the Canvey defender a yellow card. Despite hobbling around for a couple of minutes, it was obvious he could not continue and he was replaced by Dean Green.
Within the space of a couple of minutes, both teams struck the woodwork. First Duffy hit the inside of the post after Mark’s Stimson through ball. Almost immediately Dulwich struck back when Carroll’s bullet header from McGibbon’s cross came back off the crossbar, before being bundled behind for a corner. In the 69th minute, Harrison was forced to make a speedy dash from his line to block McGibbon’s effort from inside the box.
In the 81st minute, Veli Hakki replaced McGibbon and the next minute the stalemate was broken. As Dulwich swept out of defence, the ball made its way to Green, just outside the box. Receiving the ball from the left, he nipped past one tackle before firing in a right foot shot from just inside the box. He seemed to stub his effort into the ground, but to the delight of the Dulwich fans behind the goal, the ball lopped beyond the despairing reach of Harrison before plopping into the back of the net for what would ultimately be the winner.
During the closing stages the home side pressed hard for an equaliser, but the goal seemed to knock the stuffing out of them. They did have the ball in the net in stoppage time only for it to be disallowed for a push. Even with the referee finding seven minutes of stoppage time, only the dyke bursting would prevent Dulwich laying claim to all three points.
The Hamlet certainly enjoy playing the Islanders. Two games, two victories and no goals conceded. All this despite the fact that over the 180 minutes the side in control for the majority has been Canvey. Then again, was that Hansie Cronje picking up his winnings from the local bookmaker? Hmm!

Team: Les Cleevely, Dean Palmer (14: Gary Hewitt 55), Kevin Smith, Danny Carroll, Mark Garland, Francis Duku, John Cross, Tony Houghton, Mark McGibbon (12: Veli Hakki 81), Declan Perkins (15: Dean Green 64), Tony Chin

Man of the match: Les Cleevely: a fine display capped by that marvellous save in the second half.