Dire. Dismal. Depressing. Diabolical. Dulwich. Yes, that is the correct scoreline up there. Just three days after shoving a huge spanner in the works of Canvey Island’s second place aspirations, the Hamlet were brought down to earth with an almighty bump after a second half collapse saw them suffer their worst defeat of the season. The second half performance in particular makes for the stuff of horror stories, so those of you of a sensitive disposition should stop reading when you get to Dulwich’s equaliser early in the second half. The final half-hour had more calamities, clangers and cock-ups than any edition of ‘It’ll Be Alright On The Night’. Unsurprisingly no one in pink and blue was laughing – well there was one, but I’m sure the nice men in the white coats could find the Chairman a quiet, padded cell somewhere.
The team that started on Monday was the same that finished on Friday with the exception of Tony Houghton. Mark McGibbon retained his place as he looked for his first Isthmian League goal, with Dean Green forming the other half of the twin strikeforce. Gravesend included former Champion Hill favourite, Steve Restarick, in their line-up and he was to cause a few headaches for the Dulwich defence before being substituted in the second half.
Like Friday, it was the home side who dominated only to fall behind, only this time the fans did not have to wait until the final minutes for it to arrive. Dulwich came close to opening the score in the seventh minute. Green turned on the left of the box, took two defenders out of contention, before squaring the ball across to McGibbon. He laid it on to the foot of Veli Hakki, but his shot took a deflection off a defender and spun behind. From the resultant corner, Danny Carroll rose above the mass of defenders to meet the ball with a thumping header goalwards. It looked to be going in under the bar until Darren Bonfield leapt like a cliché to palm the ball out and over the bar.
Gravesend made Dulwich pay for that missed opportunity when they snatched the lead against the run of play. After a failed Dulwich incursion, the visitors broke swiftly out of defence, bearing down on Les Cleevely’s goal. The ball reached Lee Spiller on the edge of the box and he despatched the ball beyond Cleevely and in off the post for the opener.
For the next half-hour Champion Hill resembled a pinball table as the ball was pinged about the field with immense speed but little purpose. It took another twenty minutes before another attempt on goal was registered with Carroll’s fierce shot from just outside the box curling high & wide. Indeed it was the supporters behind the goal who seemed to be in more danger than the Fleet goalkeeper was. Even this scribe found himself the target of a wild Kevin Smith effort late in the half. Despite all this, attack play it was the visitors who could and should have extended their lead before the half time whistle. Restarick wasted a good chance shooting wide of the left-hand post after slicing through the Dulwich defence. Then three minutes later the former Hamlet hitman struck the crossbar although there was little he knew about it. Nick Hegley turned on the edge of the box, firing in a shot that looped off Restarick, leaving Cleevely stranded as the ball bounced off the bar.
Déjà vu as the second half opened with Dulwich getting the ball in the back of the net while many supporters were still downing their half-time polystyrene cups of Bovril or polishing off their burgers. McGibbon grabbed hi second of the season and his maiden Isthmian league goal, albeit with the aid of the keeper. Indeed it was McGibbon who had originally carved open a chance for Hakki with a delightful dragback. His shot had Bonfield beaten all ends up but cracked back off the post. It ran kindly for Dulwich though and McGibbon was on hand to drive in a low cross shot for the equaliser. A warning about complacency was posted straight away when Gravesend went instantly on the attack with Restarick blasting over the bar when well placed.
At halftime, Paul Malcolm had replaced Green who had struggled to make an impression on the resilient Gravesend defence. Malcolm’s more physical presence gave the Fleet a few worries but it was not until the hour mark that either keeper was really tested – Bonfield being forced into a full length dive to hold a skidding shot by John Cross.
We have now reached the 73rd minute. (All children and those of delicate disposition should stop reading now and make their way to the emergency exits. Either that or close your eyes until I tell you to reopen them). Spiller’s second goal of the afternoon not only restored Gravesend’s lead but was also the precursor to 19 minutes of sheer mayhem and a level ineptitude not seen at Champion Hill for many a year.
Dave Powell battled through half-a-dozen lackadaisical attempts to dispossess him; indeed there was even a suspicion of a penalty, although the referee allowed an advantage. As he drew Cleevely to his right, he pulled the ball back to Spiller standing on the edge of the box. The forward doubled his tally for the afternoon with a sweetly struck volley into the unguarded net. He might even have had a hat-trick 4 minutes later but was denied as Cleevely pushed his shot around the post.
Still number three was not long away. For too long Dulwich fans have moaned about the likes of Mark Garland not grabbing goals. Obviously this has played on his subconscious and he decided that today was the day to open his account. Unfortunately, he chose to open his Gravesend account sliding to divert a right wing à la Roy Keane past Cleevely. There may be no connection but three minutes later he was withdrawn by his father and replaced with Dean Holness as all out attack policy became order of the day.
All quiet for a few minutes, but then it was Gravesend back on the attack again as a mistake by Cross gave them another opening only for substitute Che Stadhart to chip the ball over the bar from a good position.
It had been eleven minutes since the last goal, but what happened with number four we cannot begin to tell. Gravesend won a freekick out on the right-hand touchline. It was poorly taken and looked to be a comfortable claim for Cleevely. A cry of ‘keepers’ and then there was Stadhart slotting the ball into an empty net for one of the easiest goals he will ever score. Somehow, Cleevely had managed to completely miss the ball.
Number five came two minutes later and again it was the Dulwich captain who must bear the brunt of the criticism. It was his handball outside the box that gave the visitors a freekick, although Mr Pearce showed a modicum of leniency in not booking Cleevely. A poorly lined up wall then gave Jimmy Jackson a clear sight of the far corner of the goal and he sneaked in a neat curled beyond the keeper’s hands and in off the post.
Okay that’s it you can open your eyes again. It is now 5-1 to Gravesend. Dulwich could have regained a little piece within a minute of that fifth goal, but Francis Duku’s thunderous blast from outside the box took a deflection and looped over the bar. But for a fine save by Cleevely from Stadhart, things could have got worse in stoppage time. When Mr Pearce finally blew for time, the Hamlet players had the shell-shocked look of punch-drunk boxers. On Friday, the fans had seen Dr Jekyll. Easter Monday belonged to Mr Hyde.
The team that started on Monday was the same that finished on Friday with the exception of Tony Houghton. Mark McGibbon retained his place as he looked for his first Isthmian League goal, with Dean Green forming the other half of the twin strikeforce. Gravesend included former Champion Hill favourite, Steve Restarick, in their line-up and he was to cause a few headaches for the Dulwich defence before being substituted in the second half.
Like Friday, it was the home side who dominated only to fall behind, only this time the fans did not have to wait until the final minutes for it to arrive. Dulwich came close to opening the score in the seventh minute. Green turned on the left of the box, took two defenders out of contention, before squaring the ball across to McGibbon. He laid it on to the foot of Veli Hakki, but his shot took a deflection off a defender and spun behind. From the resultant corner, Danny Carroll rose above the mass of defenders to meet the ball with a thumping header goalwards. It looked to be going in under the bar until Darren Bonfield leapt like a cliché to palm the ball out and over the bar.
Gravesend made Dulwich pay for that missed opportunity when they snatched the lead against the run of play. After a failed Dulwich incursion, the visitors broke swiftly out of defence, bearing down on Les Cleevely’s goal. The ball reached Lee Spiller on the edge of the box and he despatched the ball beyond Cleevely and in off the post for the opener.
For the next half-hour Champion Hill resembled a pinball table as the ball was pinged about the field with immense speed but little purpose. It took another twenty minutes before another attempt on goal was registered with Carroll’s fierce shot from just outside the box curling high & wide. Indeed it was the supporters behind the goal who seemed to be in more danger than the Fleet goalkeeper was. Even this scribe found himself the target of a wild Kevin Smith effort late in the half. Despite all this, attack play it was the visitors who could and should have extended their lead before the half time whistle. Restarick wasted a good chance shooting wide of the left-hand post after slicing through the Dulwich defence. Then three minutes later the former Hamlet hitman struck the crossbar although there was little he knew about it. Nick Hegley turned on the edge of the box, firing in a shot that looped off Restarick, leaving Cleevely stranded as the ball bounced off the bar.
Déjà vu as the second half opened with Dulwich getting the ball in the back of the net while many supporters were still downing their half-time polystyrene cups of Bovril or polishing off their burgers. McGibbon grabbed hi second of the season and his maiden Isthmian league goal, albeit with the aid of the keeper. Indeed it was McGibbon who had originally carved open a chance for Hakki with a delightful dragback. His shot had Bonfield beaten all ends up but cracked back off the post. It ran kindly for Dulwich though and McGibbon was on hand to drive in a low cross shot for the equaliser. A warning about complacency was posted straight away when Gravesend went instantly on the attack with Restarick blasting over the bar when well placed.
At halftime, Paul Malcolm had replaced Green who had struggled to make an impression on the resilient Gravesend defence. Malcolm’s more physical presence gave the Fleet a few worries but it was not until the hour mark that either keeper was really tested – Bonfield being forced into a full length dive to hold a skidding shot by John Cross.
We have now reached the 73rd minute. (All children and those of delicate disposition should stop reading now and make their way to the emergency exits. Either that or close your eyes until I tell you to reopen them). Spiller’s second goal of the afternoon not only restored Gravesend’s lead but was also the precursor to 19 minutes of sheer mayhem and a level ineptitude not seen at Champion Hill for many a year.
Dave Powell battled through half-a-dozen lackadaisical attempts to dispossess him; indeed there was even a suspicion of a penalty, although the referee allowed an advantage. As he drew Cleevely to his right, he pulled the ball back to Spiller standing on the edge of the box. The forward doubled his tally for the afternoon with a sweetly struck volley into the unguarded net. He might even have had a hat-trick 4 minutes later but was denied as Cleevely pushed his shot around the post.
Still number three was not long away. For too long Dulwich fans have moaned about the likes of Mark Garland not grabbing goals. Obviously this has played on his subconscious and he decided that today was the day to open his account. Unfortunately, he chose to open his Gravesend account sliding to divert a right wing à la Roy Keane past Cleevely. There may be no connection but three minutes later he was withdrawn by his father and replaced with Dean Holness as all out attack policy became order of the day.
All quiet for a few minutes, but then it was Gravesend back on the attack again as a mistake by Cross gave them another opening only for substitute Che Stadhart to chip the ball over the bar from a good position.
It had been eleven minutes since the last goal, but what happened with number four we cannot begin to tell. Gravesend won a freekick out on the right-hand touchline. It was poorly taken and looked to be a comfortable claim for Cleevely. A cry of ‘keepers’ and then there was Stadhart slotting the ball into an empty net for one of the easiest goals he will ever score. Somehow, Cleevely had managed to completely miss the ball.
Number five came two minutes later and again it was the Dulwich captain who must bear the brunt of the criticism. It was his handball outside the box that gave the visitors a freekick, although Mr Pearce showed a modicum of leniency in not booking Cleevely. A poorly lined up wall then gave Jimmy Jackson a clear sight of the far corner of the goal and he sneaked in a neat curled beyond the keeper’s hands and in off the post.
Okay that’s it you can open your eyes again. It is now 5-1 to Gravesend. Dulwich could have regained a little piece within a minute of that fifth goal, but Francis Duku’s thunderous blast from outside the box took a deflection and looped over the bar. But for a fine save by Cleevely from Stadhart, things could have got worse in stoppage time. When Mr Pearce finally blew for time, the Hamlet players had the shell-shocked look of punch-drunk boxers. On Friday, the fans had seen Dr Jekyll. Easter Monday belonged to Mr Hyde.
Team:
1. Les Cleevely
2. Gary Hewitt
3. Kevin Smith
4. Danny Carroll
5. Mark Garland (14: Dean Holness 72)
6. Francis Duku
7. John Cross
8. Veli Hakki
9. Mark McGibbon
10. Dean Green (15: Paul Malcolm 45)
11. Tony Chin
Man of the match: Hmmm? No don’t tempt me, I might say something I’ll regret later.
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