Why blog?

Hey everyone else I know has one! Must be trendy, better jump on the bandwagon before it trundles off down the road without me. Suppose at least if everyone else jumps off at the same time, next time the trend comes around as retro perhaps I can claim some kudos, a brief injection of fame into the dull life of a wage slave burdened by sanity and the onset of a mid life crisis. "Shit you're forty you haven't got a mortgage or shackled yourself to a spouse and screaming, mewling, brats"
Norm

Don't mention the Walk...

From the Daily Telegraph

War has broken out in Cornwall - and it's all Hitler's fault (again). Hostilities began when officials at Restormel Borough Council decided that a stretch of pathway running through parkland in Megavissey, 16 miles from Newquay, should be signposted according to the name it has held among locals since the 1930s - Hitlers Walk. Consequently, signs to that effect were erected. Some residents panicked, fearing that this attempt to retain this historic soubriquet might deter holidaymakers from taking summer homes in the area, and councillors were harangued for not choosing a "more positive" name.
The signs were promptly whisked away, and the path was to revert to its official title, Cliff Park - only for hardier locals to insist that they be reinstated, declaring that the objections were "ridiculous".
The path was apparently named after one Wright Harris, a despotic councillor who donated the land to the greater good in the 1930s. Traditionalists have argued that a name - unfortunate or not - is still a name, and should not be altered for the sake of political correctness. More delicate souls, however, are anxious that visitors will hesitate to flock to an area named after history's most brutal fascist.
In the latest peace move, the council is to hold a ballot on what Hitlers Walk will be called in future. Meanwhile, Megavissey clearly remains a dangerous place to live. Other, less controversial signs warn: "Please do not feed the seagulls! They can be vicious."

Whyteleafe P Dulwich Hamlet P

Whyteleafe P Dulwich Hamlet P
Ryman Isthmian League
Saturday 26th March 2005

The Hamlet were left kicking their heels at the weekend when their scheduled League match at Whyteleafe’s Church Road ground fell victim to the weather, as a fresh dump of snow in the area put paid to any hopes 'Leafe had of getting the game going ahead, despite an army of willing volunteers, armed with forks and seduced by promises of free beer, standing at the ready in an attempt to make the pitch playable. The match has now been provisionally rescheduled for Tuesday 15th March, kick-off 7:45 p.m. The early morning postponement must have come as a particular disappointment to Dulwich’s latest recruit, striker Paul Scott, who signed from the Hamlet’s Surrey rivals earlier in the week and would have been looking forward to facing his old team-mates. Possessing the skills to excite the crowds and the ability to score spectacular match-turning goals, the much-travelled goalscorer has played in two previous spells for Dulwich, the most recent at the start of the 2002/2003 season after signing from Maidenhead United, but returned to Whyteleafe in September of that year. After flirting with AFC Wimbledon, he switched to Croydon Athletic at the start of the current season before returning to Whyteleafe in November of last year.

Forthcoming fixtures:
Saturday 5th March: Dulwich Hamlet vs. Fleet Town (@ Champion Hill, KO 3:00 p.m.)
Monday 7th March: Ryman Isthmian League Centenary Match: Ryman League vs. FA XI (KO 7:30 p.m.)
Tuesday 8th March: Leyton FC vs. Dulwich Hamlet (KO 7:45 p.m.)

Les Supporters du Red Star Paris (Gang Green) 2 Dulwich Hamlet Supporters 3

Les Supporters du Red Star Paris (Gang Green) 2 Dulwich Hamlet Supporters 3
International Challenge Match
Sunday 13th March 2005

Paris versus London. No not the scrap for the right to host Olympic Games but a far, far better thing and probably cleaner too! Far from the Elysian Fields of the Paris that tourists come to gaze in awe at, Dulwich supporters carried the olive branch of Anglo-French friendship to the Stade Joliot-Curie for a ‘Rendez-vous de l’Amitié’. Battle engaged and Dulwich were soon in front when Lawrence Marsh skipped through to tuck away the opening goal as early as the 9th minute, drilling the ball low past a diving keeper’s right hand. However Red Star were not without their stars and one of them, a Zidane-like giant in midfield named Karim, capitalised on a weak pass in defence to unleash a ferocious shot from the edge of the box that had keeper Phil Baker clawing at thin air as the ball fizzed past him. Level at the break and deep into the second half, it looked as if a diplomatic draw was on the cards, that was until a low shot driven in beat a diving Baker and despite the best efforts of defender Mick O’Shaughnessy, he could only provide the finishing touch as the ball crossed the line. Undaunted Dulwich hit back almost immediately as from the kick-off the ball was played back to Steve Rickerby whose launched ball was flicked on by the head of Lee Shailer for Marsh to gallop through and lob the keeper to bring the scores level. Soon after Marsh was through again and rounding the keeper to complete a hat trick. His man of the match performance was almost capped with a fourth as through on goal; he beat the keeper with a chip only for the ball to strike the crossbar. There were still nervous moments before a first victory on continental soil was confined, particularly when Karim launched a booming long-range effort a la Nayim from the halfway line, Baker standing firm as the ball fell from the sky, stoppage time seemingly interminable but victory it was.

Team:
Phil Baker; Alex Bushell; Steve Rickerby; Ian Wright; Mick O'Shaughnessey; Mark Hutton; Dave Berry; Lee Shailer; Phil Doyle; Mishi Morath; Lawrence Marsh
Sub: Paul Griffin
Physio: Adele Beckford
Interpreter: Myles Quinn

Leyton FC 0 Dulwich Hamlet 1

Leyton FC 0 Dulwich Hamlet 1
London Senior Cup 5th Round
Tuesday 8th March 2005

Burning bright like the fabled Holy Grail, the London Cup still holds Dulwich in its thrall as the men in Pink and Blue upset the applecart with victory away to Premier Division promotion chasers Leyton FC courtesy of a ferocious strike from Kemal Bulent midway through the second half. Nor was this a fluke as Dulwich refused to be intimidated by the strong-arm tactics of their loftier hosts who had keeper James Hasell to thank that the margin of victory was not greater.
Things might have been very different had Leyton taken advantage of the generous award of a penalty after just 6 minutes. Gavin Dayes’ tackle on Manny Williams looked to be at least a yard outside the Dulwich penalty area but referee Mr Bushell pointed straight to the spot, unswerved by vehement protests from the Dulwich players. Justice though was served as Leli Bajada’s ineffectual spot kick was easily saved by Paul Seuke.
The hosts again threatened when the diminutive Vas Soteriou skipped past a trio of tackles but his angled drive bounced wide of Seuke’s left-hand post. Two minutes later Marlon Patterson came close with a similar effort as Meshach Nugent’s lobbed pass released him down the left wing. Fed by Francis Quarm, Patterson, having switched to the ring, delivered a magnificent cross into the box, Meshach Nugent flicking a header backwards but straight into the hands of the waiting Hasell.
Unfazed by the opponents, Dulwich bumped up the workrate and when Charley Side latched on to a long pass, defender Ben Wood made a vain attempt to haul him down as he burst into the box. Manfully Side shrugged off these illicit attentions but Hasell made a stunning block to keep out the Dulwich striker’s fierce drive. Sent haring off down the left by Bulent’s pass, Nugent displayed some neat skills before delivering a low cross to the edge of the penalty area but Alex O’Brien’s first time strike was well wide of the mark.
Having suffered at the hands and feet of the hosts, it was galling that the game’s first booking, albeit correct, came a minute later as Nugent used a hand to turn a freekick into the goal. Five minutes later and another inspiring Dulwich move came within an ace of breaking the deadlock. Patterson’s neat pass found Side in space in the area, the striker delivering a low cross that Nugent flicked through his legs to the unmarked Kenny Beaney at the back of the box. His shot beat Hasell but not covering defender Des Thomas who hacked the ball to safety off the goalline.
With five minutes to the break Dulwich again had the ball in the net as Dayes arrived at the back post to head in a corner but once again the referee’s whistle was to see the goal chalked off as Side was penalised for hampering the keeper. The Hamlet were almost punished for this as poor marking at a freekick saw Williams arrive at the back of the box to head the ball back across the area to Soteriou but his header landed harmlessly on the roof of the net.
The Hamlet were to finish the half in the ascendancy but goalless thanks to the heroics of Hasell, as a sweeping Hamlet move ended with a stunning shot from O’Brien that was matched by Hasell’s flying leap to tip the ball over the bar. Again, the custodian came to his side’s rescue as the corner was delivered, twice provided killer punches to deny the Hamlet.
The second half brought no respite from the excitement as a full-blooded cup-tie continued to enthral. Seven minutes in a Leyton corner found skipper Scott Honeyball, an inelegant header blocked on the line by Bulent. Soon after, Dulwich fans were howling for a penalty of their own as Roy Parkyn cleared handled the ball on the floor as he and Beaney challenged for the ball. Confidence in the officials was further undermined when Side became the second Dulwich man to see yellow for what was his first foul of note, though Mr Bushell did start to even things up, first when Scott Curley was rather unfortunately booked after challenging for the ball with Quarm. Not doubts though about the next caution as Parkyn got his just desserts following a nauseating challenge as Beaney as the young winger tried to give him the slip. One could tell the hosts were getting rattling as yet another foul saw a freekick dropped into the area, Dayes stabbed the ball wide from close range.
Then with 67 minutes on the clock came the breakthrough and what a goal to savour as Bulent won the ball on the left and with the defence anticipating a cross, the tricky wingback unleashed a screamer of a drive that finally beat the seemingly impervious Hasell.
Their opponents now rocking Dulwich pressed home their advantage. Beaney curled a freekick from the edge of the area fractionally wide, before Quarm lashed a shot wide from ten yards after dancing into the box, shortly before selling an outrageous dummy but blazing his opportunity over the bar. This was to be his last contribution to the night’s entertainment as, bizarrely, he disappeared down the tunnel moments later, apparently struck down by illness. Confusion reigned as with Quarm’s reappearance unlikely, Dulwich attempted to bring on Ellis Conroy in his stead, the assistant referee seemingly unaware of Quarm’s departure. Eventually Conroy made it on to the pitch to add his steel to Dulwich’s cause, a nervous final ten minutes endured, but at last brought to an end by a blast of Mr Bushell’s whistle. Another trip north of the Thames lies in wait in the semi-finals with a trip to either Wingate & Finchley or Redbridge FC on the cards. Playing like this, the Hamlet should fear neither.

Teams:
LFC: James Hasell; Des Thomas; Roy Parkyn; Scott Honeyball (Capt.); Ben Wood; Scott Curley; Dean Bradshaw (Neil Thompson 84); James Hawes (Malcolm Dannie 58 (Trevor Paul 76)); Manny Williams; Vas Soteriou; Leli Bajada
Subs not used: Simon Peddie; Dave Morgan

DHFC: Paul Seuke; Jason Turley; Kemal Bulent; Alex O’Brien; Tom Ababio; Gavin Dayes (Danny Twin 73); Francis Quarm (Ellis Conroy 84); Charley Side; Meshach Nugent; Kevin Beaney; Marlon Patterson
Subs not used: Lee Akers; Jermaine Adan; Nicolas Plumain

BEANEY MAKES ISTHMIAN LEAGUE CENTENARY SQUAD

Dulwich midfield prodigy Kenny Beaney will be in exalted company including David Clarke, captain of Yeading FC against Newcastle United in the FA Cup, when Champion Hill hosts a match between the FA and the Ryman Isthmian League to celebrate the centenary of the competition’s institution on March 8th 1905. Of the current members of the league, only Clapton have been members longer than Dulwich who joined three years later. The game takes place at Champion Hill on Monday 7th March, kicking off at 7:30 p.m. The squad of 17 named by Ryman League representative manager Jack Pearce includes primarily Premier Division players although alongside Beaney in the squad there is the name of AFC Wimbledon’s ace striker Robert Ursell. The full squad is Paul Nicholls (Chelmsford City), Dean Marney (Harrow Borough), Ollie Adedeji (Braintree Town), Pat Sappleton (Billericay Town), Alex Haddow (Eastleigh), Liam Collins (Worthing), David Clarke (Yeading), Fiston Manuella (Staines Town), Robert Ursell (AFC Wimbledon), Alex Revell, (Braintree Town), Andy Forbes (Eastleigh), James Hasell (Leyton) Richard Jolly (Wealdstone), Leon Hunter (Billericay Town), Michael Shinn (Heybridge Swifts), Alex Stanley (Yeading) and Kenny Beaney (Dulwich Hamlet).

BURGESS HILL TOWN 1 DULWICH HAMLET 0

Paul Griffin Reports From Leylands Park, South London Press

A GUSTY swirling wind combined with a gluey, rain sodden pitch did its best to ruin this match as a spectacle with few clear-cut chances and little in the way of quality football.
It looked as if a draw was on the cards with both keepers making vital saves to keep the scoresheet blank, Paul Seuke pulling off a stunning save to keep out a close-range header from Lloyd Cotton and Hillians' custodian Pat Gannon sticking out a foot to divert a Charley Side strike over the bar.
However, with eight minutes to go, up popped Burgess Hill's leading scorer Steve Harper to bag his 26th goal of the campaign, flicking a low left wing cross past Seuke.
Dulwich applied late pressure in a bid to salvage a point and had a good shout for a penalty when Side's cross struck a defender's hand but it was not to be.
Dulwich: Seuke, Akers, Turley, Ababio, Twin, Conroy (Patterson 86), Burton, Side, Nugent, Beaney, Schoburgh (Quarm 68). Not used: Plumain, O'Brien, Ward.
Dulwich host Cray Wanderers tonight (Tuesday) in the London Senior Cup (7.45pm).

Burgess Hill Town 1 Dulwich Hamlet 0

Burgess Hill Town 1 Dulwich Hamlet 0
Ryman Isthmian Division One
Saturday 12th February 2005

Strolling through a rather unlovely housing estate, one happens upon the arboreal splendour that is Leylands Park, home of Burgess Hill Town FC, small in stature but big in ambition as they challenge for a place in the end of season play-offs. Unfortunately, the surroundings provided little respite from the elements as the game matched its rustic surroundings, though more in part to a biting wind that swirled in from Siberia, snatches of the Internationale whispered in its howling gusts. Add to this a cloying flypaper of a pitch that constantly frustrated the participants’ attempts to play all but the most basic of football and it was little wonder that there was scant fare for spectators to feast upon. At least, given the conditions, the goal that won the game was a moment of pure quality but Dulwich will look back upon missing opportunities to have taken the points from their hosts.
Injuries still plagued the Dulwich management as they made their selections, Tom Ababio a ever capable replacement for the injured Gavin Dayes in the heart of defence, whilst the battling presence of Wade Falana was again missing in attack where Meshach Nugent partnered the prolific Charley Side in the vanguard.
Dulwich came to terms best with conditions early on with Nugent capitalising on a mistake in defence but electing to try to find Side rather than utilise the better option of a shot. A minute later and a Lee Akers freekick proved the catalyst for Side to chip in a cross for the head of Warren Burton, keeper Pat Gannon making a swift change of direction to gather the header.
Constant interruptions from referee Andy Legg’s whistle and the prevailing elements made for a fragmented game although Matt Geard did bring a smart save out of Paul Seuke as he struck a fierce low shot on the run only for the Dulwich custodian to dive full length to turn the ball past the foot of his right post. Moments later Burton fed Sebastion Schoburgh on the edge of the penalty area but his angle chip rode on the wind, clearing Gannon’s bar.
From here the game evaporated into stalemate and it was not until the closing stages of the half that Dulwich stepped up the pressure but after laying siege to the home goal, Hamlet could not force the ball home, Nugent meeting a curling cross from Jason Turley on the left only for a brace of defenders to block his shot from 8 yards out.
The second half followed a similar pattern as Hillians’ defensive steel stifled Dulwich’s attacking zeal though Side did strike a fierce effort just wide after capitalising on a defender’s slip and Ellis Conroy tried his luck only to see his effort sail over the crossbar.
A stunning save from Seuke to keep out a close range header from Lloyd Cotton drew admiring gasps for all round before Burgess Hill wasted a great opportunity as a freekick on the edge of the box was blasted wide.
Dulwich replaced the enigma that is Schoburgh with Francis Quarm as they again turned the tide back in their favour as they pushed keeper Gannon to the limit with a brace of vital saves inside five minutes. First Kenny Beaney released Side with a perfect pass but Gannon raced from his line to spread himself and divert Side’s goalbound shot over the bar courtesy of an outstretched boot. Side then put Nugent through, but the striker hesitated momentarily allowing Gannon to make a vital interception.
After such a battling performance, Dulwich’s failure to put away their chances as Hillians' Steve Harper, despite a niggling groin problem, showed why he leads the club’s goalscoring charts with a quality piece of poaching arriving first to divert substitute Neil Watts’ left wing cross low to the near post past Seuke. Soon after Harper threatened to double the lead but this time the Hamlet keeper made a telling save, diving full length to turn the effort behind.
Dulwich came back strongly in search of an equaliser but despite late pressure could find a route through to goal. Gannon again denied Side and the Hamlet had a good shout for a penalty as Side’s cross struck a defender’s outstretched hand but it was not to be.

Teams:
BHTFC: Pat Gannon; Lloyd Cotton; Ben Fillery; Matt Piper; Tom Edmonds; Kevin Townsend; Steve Harper (Owen Callaghan 90); Matt Geard (Neil Watts 56); Darragh Ryan; Leo Day (Capt.); Dave Soutar
Subs not used: Richard Greenfield; Darin Kilpatrick

DHFC: Paul Seuke; Lee Akers (Capt.); Jason Turley; Tom Ababio; Danny Twin; Ellis Conroy (Marlon Patterson 87); Warren Burton; Charley Side; Meshach Nugent; Kenny Beaney; Sebastion Schoburgh (Francis Quarm 69)
Subs not used: Danny Ward; Nicolas Plumain; Alex O’Brien

Officials:
Referee: Andy Legg
Assistant Referees: Mark Wood & Graham Kendall

Scoring:
BHTFC: 1-0 Steve Harper 82 minutes
Attendance: 249

COLEMAN DELIVERS!

The Hornets today completed the signing of prolific non-league striker Omari Coleman to a one-year contract.
The former Dulwich Hamlet marksman has been on trial since July after being spotted by chief scout Frank Sibley and recommended to manager Ray Lewington.
"I'm very excited to have signed a contract with Watford,'' he said, minutes after putting pen to paper. "It's been going on for a while now so I'm glad to get it over and done with and now I'm just looking forward to the next chapter.
"I've got so much to prove at the moment, but I believe in myself that I can make it happen at this level. I'm looking forward to getting fitter and getting some games under my belt. The manager has signed me so he must have belief in me, so I've got to prove to him that he has made the right decision.''
The 23-year-old, who was on schoolboy forms with Wimbledon, has had several trials with league clubs over the years but never quite made it. At his age, he could have thought his chance had gone, but he puts his reversal in fortunes all down to old-fashioned hard work.
"I was with Croydon for a year, then I went to Dulwich Hamlet and scored a lot of goals over two seasons and it really took-off for me towards the end of last season. There was a lot of interest from other clubs, but I didn't really read too much into it when the Watford situation came up, but after meeting the manager and the rest of the lads things really started happening for me here, leading up to today's great news.
"I'm getting on a bit in football terms, so I said to myself at the start of last season to give myself one last push and get myself really fit and sharp - then I started scoring for Dulwich so I thought that if I didn't make it after that then I would have missed my chance but given it my best shot.''
This week the roads around Watford are once again clogged up with traffic - so that must mean the kids have gone back to school! That's what Omari would have been doing had he not been given this opportunity by the Hornets.
"I was a teaching assistant working with kids who have learning and behavioural difficulties,'' he explained. "I taught sport and a variety of other subjects to kids who found it hard to concentrate and learn simple things.I should have been going back to school this week, my school said to me because I have been on other trials before, if I went to Watford then I might not be able to come back to work in September, so that was a risk I took and fortunately it paid off.''
Swapping the classroom for a professional football club is a huge step, particularly in the fitness stakes, but it's a career change he is adapting well to, although competition is fierce at Vicarage Road in the very healthy striker department.
"You have got to be professional about everything you do here,'' he said. "You have to rest at every opportunity as the different training patterns take a toll on your body. It has taken me a while to get used to it, at Dulwich Hamlet I trained twice a week and now it's almost every day. It's a mental and physical thing that in time you get used to.
"There are a lot of good strikers here at Watford and it's up to the individuals to fight for the two positions up front. I'm not fazed by it though, I'm just here to do my best and I believe that then things will go well.
"My goal for this season is just to get myself known here, establish myself and earn the respect of the management and players here. I just want to do well, whether it's in the reserves or if I get a sniff of the first team. I just want to make sure I do myself justice.''

From the Watford Official Website

Crawley Town Youth 1 Dulwich Hamlet Youth 3

Crawley Town Youth 1 Dulwich Hamlet Youth 3
FA Youth Cup – Third Qualifying Round
Friday 29th October 2004

For the third year running since being reformed Dulwich Hamlet Youth Team will be competing in the FA Youth Cup competition proper after overcoming stiff opposition and a serious injury to keeper Tope David in registering a 3-1 victory at Crawley Town last Friday night. The Hamlet got off to a flying start when Crawley’s keeper lost a corner and in the ensuing mêlée, skipper Asher Hudson was on hand to smack the ball home from 6 yards. With the two sides evenly matched, chances were rare with Mutiu Lamidi striking wide after some good approach play and Jason Mabbs putting a freekick over the bar after Ohran Stewart had been brought down on the edge of the penalty area. A controversial penalty gave Crawley a route back into the match when a freekick appeared to strike Mabbs in the face only for the referee to whistle for a spot kick, one that Liam Buchan converted well to give David no chance. However celebrations were cut short as Dulwich took just three minutes to regain their lead. A freekick looked to have been overhit but Cedric Meeko refused to give up, collecting the ball before finding Stewart whose low ball into the box was met by Hudson stretching to stab the ball home via the underside of the crossbar.
Hudson came mighty close to completing his hat trick on 69 minutes only for Crawley’s Stuart Robinson to pull off a stunning point save but a minute later it was 3-1 as Stewart showed a clean pair of heels to the defence before beating Robinson with an angled low drive. However the latter part of the game was made nerve-racking as David was injured in making a save and with no reserve keeper on the bench the onerous task of donning the gloves fell on the shoulders of Hudson. Against all the odds Dulwich held for an anxious quarter hour or so to ensure a first round tie away to Wycombe Wanderers on Wednesday 10th November, kick-off 7-45 p.m.

Team: Tope David (Lamin Ojo); Tariq Ahmed; Craig Braham-Barrett; Cedric Meeko; Asher Hudson; Michael Makas; Jason Mabbs; Ohran Stewart; Mutiu Lamidi (Tyran James); Chris Kiganda (Kobi Degraft-Johnson); Ryan Martin
Subs not used: Brett Lambert-Wright; Dominic Weston

DULWICH SUPPORTERS’ ITALIAN JOB

As Britain’s war heroes made their way to Normandy to commemorate the 60th Anniversary of the D-Day landings, another troop of gallant Brits were making their way back to Blighty as Dulwich Hamlet Supporters Football Team returned from their annual foray into Europe. This time it was the Torfeo Delfino, held in Rimini, Italy and the side were celebrating yet another achievement as for the first time they avoided the wooden spoon in their group.
The tournament opened at the Spontricciolo ground where the Hamlet lads were first on pitch against Corsica team, C.F.A. Bastia and it proved to a torrid test as the sprightly opposition displayed immaculate skills in taking a two-nil lead into the break, increasing that in the second half. Dulwich were not helped by the idiosyncratic decisions of the local referee whose eccentric decisions brought British bewilderment and Gallic shrugs in equal measure. However Dulwich would not lie down and forced their way back into the game with a classic English goal. Winning a freekick wide on the left, Dulwich took full advantage as skipper Andy Tucker’s pinpoint delivery allowed Lee Shailer to rise and head a powerful header home. As the clock ticked down Dulwich continued to press but further goals did not come. A final score of 3-1 to Bastia was deserved particularly in light of sporting manner in which they conducted themselves.
A long wait ensued before Dulwich were next on pitch against local A.C. Grottino who’d won their opening game in none too convincing style giving the Hamlet Supporters every confidence that they would be able to record a maiden victory on continental soil. However Lady Luck was not smiling upon the boys in Pink and Blue as the Italians went on to record a flattering 4-0 triumph courtesy of a trio of scrappy goals, loose balls tucked away despite the best attempts of keeper Matt Hammond and his overworked defenders. Dulwich might have claimed a consolation late on when Lawrence Marsh received the ball in the penalty area but could only hold his head in dismay as his steam-hammer effort cracked against the crossbar.
Out of contention for progression to the knockout stages, Dulwich still had the opportunity to clinch third place in the group as their final opponents, G.E Factofrance, from St Ouen l’Aumone, north west of Paris, had suffered two defeats (3-0 and 4-0), meaning a draw would ensure Dulwich avoided the wooden spoon. However it was to be a long wait as the match was not scheduled until 10 to seven that evening in Argentina, a hamlet on the outskirts of town not the country! The delay probably did more to unsettle the opposition as Dulwich came out all guns blazing, taking the lead through the head of Marsh meeting a twice nodded on freekick from a throw-in to plant a header firmly past the French keeper. The Hamlet paid for some lackadaisical defending, though, as a freekick found a French player unmarked in the box and his well placed header gave Hammond no chance but a fine strike from Hamlet’s Man of the Tournament Phil Doyle restored Dulwich’s lead before the half time break. However Dulwich were denied what would have been a deserved victory when Factofrance pulled back a goal in the second half with a close range effort and despite a myriad of chances the game petered out into a draw as the day took its toll on the fast wearying combatants.

Squad: Matt Hammond (GK); Alex Bushell; Steve Rickerby; Lucas Green; Paul Griffin; Andy Tucker (Capt.); Damon Green; Phil Doyle; Lee Shailer; Ferenc Morath; Phil Baker; Mark Hutton; Ian Wright; Dave Blyth; Mick O’Shaughnessy

THE COLEMAN COMETH!

Dulwich Hamlet goalscoring sensation Omari Coleman is the latest in a long line of Champion Hill youth team graduates to make the leap into the professional game although he has had to wait a little longer than some for his call up to the big leagues. At the age of 23, perhaps he though his chance had gone, but following a high scoring trial with Coca-Cola Championship Watford, impressed by exploits with the Hamlet, this week Coleman put pen to paper on a one-year deal with the Hornets.
Coleman had been on trial since July after being spotted by chief scout Frank Sibley and recommended to manager Ray Lewington.
Speaking to the official Watford FC website, minutes after completing his signing, Coleman said, "I'm very excited to have signed a contract with Watford,’’ "It's been going on for a while now so I'm glad to get it over and done with and now I'm just looking forward to the next chapter.
"I've got so much to prove at the moment, but I believe in myself that I can make it happen at this level. I'm looking forward to getting fitter and getting some games under my belt. The manager has signed me so he must have belief in me, so I've got to prove to him that he has made the right decision.''
The 23-year-old, who was on schoolboy forms with Wimbledon, has had several trials with league clubs over the years but never quite made it. At his age, he could have thought his chance had gone, but he puts his reversal in fortunes all down to old-fashioned hard work.
"I was with Croydon FC for a year, then I went to Dulwich Hamlet and scored a lot of goals over two seasons and it really took off for me towards the end of last season. There was a lot of interest from other clubs, but I didn't really read too much into it when the Watford situation came up, but after meeting the manager and the rest of the lads things really started happening for me here, leading up to today's great news.
"I'm getting on a bit in football terms, so I said to myself at the start of last season to give myself one last push and get myself really fit and sharp - then I started scoring for Dulwich so I thought that if I didn't make it after that then I would have missed my chance but given it my best shot.''
This week the roads around Watford are once again clogged up with traffic - so that must mean the kids have gone back to school! That's what Omari would have been doing had he not been given this opportunity by the Hornets.
"I was a teaching assistant working with kids who have learning and behavioural difficulties,'' he explained. "I taught sport and a variety of other subjects to kids who found it hard to concentrate and learn simple things. I should have been going back to school this week, my school said to me because I have been on other trials before, if I went to Watford then I might not be able to come back to work in September, so that was a risk I took and fortunately it paid off.''
Swapping the classroom for a professional football club is a huge step, particularly in the fitness stakes, but it's a career change he is adapting well to, although competition is fierce at Vicarage Road in the very healthy striker department.
"You have got to be professional about everything you do here,'' he said. "You have to rest at every opportunity as the different training patterns take a toll on your body. It has taken me a while to get used to it, at Dulwich Hamlet I trained twice a week and now it's almost every day. It's a mental and physical thing that in time you get used to.
"There are a lot of good strikers here at Watford and it's up to the individuals to fight for the two positions up front. I'm not fazed by it though, I'm just here to do my best and I believe that then things will go well.
"My goal for this season is just to get myself known here, establish myself and earn the respect of the management and players here. I just want to do well, whether it's in the reserves or if I get a sniff of the first team. I just want to make sure I do myself justice.''

Dulwich Hamlet 1 Sutton United 1

Dulwich Hamlet 1 Sutton United 1
Pre-Season Challenge Match
Thursday 5th August 2004

A last minute goal rescued a share of the honours for a determined Hamlet against a much rejigged Sutton XI whose long serving manager John Rains took the opportunity to give match exposure to more new faces prior to the start of the season. Indeed copious substitutes were the order of the day for this was Dulwich’s third game in six days, having been used as a glorified trial match for Barnet just 48 previous.
Having lost John Wilfort to injury, one that would curtail a promising career in Pink and Blue, Dulwich shifted Julian Curnow to centre-half and brought young full back Russell Bedford into the fray.
For the U’s, a central defensive pairing of Crystal Palace juniors Glen Wilson and Jay Conroy, aided and abetted by erstwhile AFC Wimbledon centre-back Danny Oakins, though the niceties of the professional youth game were soon upset as they received the warm Camberwell greeting of Dulwich’s pocket battleship, the belligerent Charley Side. The striker with dynamite in his boots showed he had it elsewhere as an early thumping header brought a breathtaking save from experienced Sutton stopper Andy Iga. That save proved telling for soon after, in the 18th minute, the visiting suburbanites had snatched the lead totally
An entirely new central defensive partnership of Crystal Palace juniors Glen Wilson and Jay Conroy, and former AFC Wimbledon centre back Danny Oakins lined up in front of Andy Iga, while experienced midfielder Peter Fear, who played in the Football League for Wimbledon and more recently was with Crawley, was also in U's starting line-up.
Iga marked his first outing of the season with a brilliant early save to keep out Charlie Side's header before Sutton went ahead in the 18th minute, slightly against the run of play, as Matt Gray's innocuous looking 25 yard shot evaded the grasp of goalkeeper Paul Seuke. Oakins missed a good chance to extend the lead when he headed wide from a Gray corner, but there were some positive moments from all three centre backs, with both Palace youngsters looking good on the ball.
The dangerous Sebastian Schoburgh headed against the post for Dulwich just before half time, and at the interval the visitors made a trio of changes. On came Phil Wilson between the sticks, experienced Stuart Booth replacing Fear and out to prove his worth to the U’s and David Kennedy on in the vanguard for Andy Martin.
Wilson had barely reached the goal-line before he was facing a penalty after Conroy tangled with Meshach Nugent. Conroy clearly aggrieved to see the decision had go in favour of the Hamlet as he protested in vain that his shirt had been tugged by his troublesome tormentor, but Nugent rendered any arguments academic by slamming the spot kick into the ether. Sutton responded as Joff Vansittart had a powerful header finely battered out by Dulwich's second half custodian, Danny Harwood. The danger not over the rebound was lifted back in by Nigel Brake to the still lurking Vansittart but this time his radar was out and the strike was driven wide of the mark.
A fearsome tackler from Glen Wilson on Kemal Bulent as he scampered down the lefty wing led to a lengthy delay in play as the speedy winger took treatment but to not avail and the stretcher bearers were sent for. The injury would prove serious with the unfortunate Bulent expected to miss a lengthy swathe of the coming season. Soon after a myriad of substitutions saw the miscreant Wilson amongst those replaced as Sutton took off their central defensive pairing lock, stock and barrel, the Oakins/Wilson/Conroy partnership replaced by Martin Dunne, Scott Corbett and Lewis Gonsalves. For Dulwich David Moore replaced the injured Bulent, soon to be joined Levi Coleman and Justin Georgiou who took on the strikers mantle from Side and Nugent. Whilst the Hamlet were settling back into their rhythm, the U’s almost took advantage as Kennedy found that extra gear to burst away from the shackles of defence. Lifting the ball over the advancing Harwood he let out a silent scream first of exultation then of ululation as he could only watch as the bounced up off the turf against the underside of the bar and, amidst a furry of pink and blue, chocolate and amber, be scrambled away to safety.
Yet more subs stepped into the fray. Of Sutton’s brace Danny Jeffreys almost cost his side a goal as he relinquished possession to Coleman, the Hamlet replacement denied only by Phil Wilson’s smart reflexes. Jeffreys’ fellow understudy, Benson Paka, was experiencing the flip side of fortunes coin as he proved instigator of a fluent move which might have sealed victory had not an overstretched Kennedy larruped his strike from Brake’s drilled low cross wide once more.
Buoyed by that Dulwich rallied for the final assault, the relentless Danny Ward sent in a cracker of a strike that had Phil Wilson seemingly beaten until he pulled one of those frustratingly good saves out of his magic hat. But at the death, not even Hecate’s arts could have saved Wilson for though he found yet another quality save to keep out the drive of late substitute Nicolas Plumain, he found himself toothless as Coleman pounced upon the loose ball and directed past the stricken earthbound custodian and into the net to rescue a deserved share of the spoils for a Hamlet side that refused to except defeat.

Teams:
DHFC: Paul Seuke (Danny Harwood HT); Russell Bedford (Nicolas Plumain 85); Paul Reed; Errison Ahwan (Tom Ababio 76); Julian Curnow; Danny Ward; Terry Bowes (Craig Prendergast 85); Kemal Bulent (David Moore 70); Charley Side (Levi Coleman 72); Meshach Nugent (Justin Georgiou 72); Sebastian Schoburgh
Sub not used: Jason Turley

SUFC: Andy Iga (Phil Wilson (HT); Matt Gray (Danny Jeffreys 76); Nigel Brake; Danny Oakins (Glenn Boosey 72); Glen Wilson (Lewis Gonsalves 72); Jay Conroy (Martin Dunne 72); Peter Fear (Stuart Booth HT); Paul Honey (Benson Paka 76); Joff Vansittart; Eddie Akuamoah (Scott Corbett 72); Andy Martin (David Kennedy HT)

The future’s pink and blue

Dulwich Hamlet boss Martin Eede insists his club still has a bright future despite the heartbreak of missing out on a place in the Ryman Premier League.
Hamlet were well set for promotion most of the way through the season only to fall away in the closing weeks of the campaign.
Their seventh-placed finish sent them into a winner-takes-all play-off with Wealdstone at Champion Hill.
The scars of surrendering their promotion hopes in a penalty shoot-out remain fresh for Eede.
But with the club's reserve and youth teams enjoying great success this season, Eede still has plenty to look forward to.
"Our reserves have won the Suburban Premier League with the youngest ever squad in the club's history, while our youth side are in the final of the Southern Youth League Cup," he said.
"That tells me the club is very strong and we have some excellent young players here.
"Quite a few have already broken into the first-team squad."
Dulwich will be in the Isthmian League Division One next season, where AFC Wimbledon will provide lucrative opposition.
Eede has pledged to stay at the club and hopes he can take them one step further this time.
"I'll definitely be here next season to have another crack at getting promotion," he said.
"What we achieved this year was excellent considering the financial strength of the other teams who went up.
"That doesn't mean anything now, but hopefully the players will come back stronger for the experience."
The boss doesn't know how many of the squad will remain at the club over the summer, but is confident there won't be too many jumping ship.
"This is the time when everybody wants to take a holiday," he said.
"No-one has intimated to me that they want to leave, but there is always some movement.
"I'm already concentrating on next season and have arranged a pre-season friendly with Millwall for July, 22.
"There is work to do to the stadium and the pitch, so I will be keeping very busy!"

Dulwich secured the Suburban League title with a 3-2 win over Wingate & Finchley last week. Nathan Lother, George Gibson and Nicolas Plumain scored the vital goals.

Dulwich Hamlet supporters have produced a video and DVD of their London Senior Cup final victory over Tooting & Mitcham. Videos are £10 and DVD's £12, with postage £1.50. To place an order e-mail Bill Azzi at bazzi@btinternet.com

CHANGES ARE COMING

May 18 2004
By Chris Fidler, South London Press
DULWICH Hamlet boss Martin Eede said he wouldn't swap any of his players - but there will be changes in the summer, he has admitted.
Hamlet missed out on promotion after a penalty shoot-out defeat in the Ryman Division One play-off with Wealdstone - and some players may have had enough.
Eede will now see his side compete in the Isthmian League Division One Southern Eastern Division against local rivals Tooting and AFC Wimbledon, rather than a higher level.
"It is inevitable there will be changes to the side, but at the moment I am still reflecting on how we missed out on promotion after such a good season," said Eede.
"I wouldn't swap any of my players. They were brilliant for me. In the end it was the lack of a big squad that let us down."
Eede is hoping his stars, such as top-scorer Omari Coleman, will want to stay at the club for next season, but added: "Of course people like Omari want to play at the highest level, but I'll be tackling those issues in a few weeks' time and hope most will want to stay."
As for the new league, Eede has one or two reasons to be excited about what is in store for his side and the Champion Hill faithful.
"With teams like AFC Wimbledon, Tooting and Bromley in it, there will be some big, big games," he said.
"There will also be some new challenges from the likes of Newport Isle of Wight and Bashley, so there's a lot to keep the interest."
But Eede is anxious that any success Hamlet have on the field should not mean people forget the club's problems off it. Last summer Hamlet's planning application for a Homebase on their existing ground and a new stadium next door was thrown out at appeal. The plan would have given the club financial security according to Eede.
He added: "If it had been allowed it would have meant we could be major players in the non-league world. We have a fight for survival here to keep the club going, which we do thanks to a small number of people who work above and beyond the call of duty.
"There are a lot of well-heeled people in Dulwich and it would be nice for them to get involved in helping the club out. Dulwich Hamlet is an important part of Dulwich life and a cash injection would go a long way.
"But whatever happens, nothing can shake us. We'll dust ourselves down and have another crack at promotion next season."
*Fisher Athletic's leading scorer of last season has left the club. Richard Brady, who netted 22 goals last term, walked after manager Wayne Burnett couldn't guarantee him a starting place for next season as he looks to reshape the squad.

Cadette's verdict

May 11 2004
South London Press
TOOTING & Mitcham boss Richard Cadette took heart from his side's display.
"There's no way I can criticise anyone after that performance," he said.
"We played well, created chances but the fact of the matter is we lost because we just couldn't put the ball in the back of the net.
"Dulwich had their two minutes when they scored twice and that was the difference."
Cadette added: "It made it worse that we had to lose to Dulwich, but sometimes you have to taste that bitter defeat to make sure you never want to taste it again. We have a very young side and they have been on a learning curve this season."
As for striker Elliot Onochie, Cadette is now waiting to hear whether he wants to stay at Tooting after his contract expired.
Cadette said: "He has been offered a new contract and I want him to stay, but only if he is happy to stay. I hope he is."

COLEMAN DELIVERS

May 11 2004
DULWICH 2 TOOTING & M 0
Chris Fidler Reports From Claremont Road, South London Press
AFTER the season of disappointment these two rivals have had, the London Senior Cup provided some light relief.
It may not have the kudos it used to, but the competition final was a chance for two South London sides to regain some pride in a small corner of North London.
Dulwich were in the greater need of a pick-me-up after missing promotion from Ryman Division One South by one penalty kick 48 hours earlier. However, the cup was also a chance for Tooting's players to prove they are not so dispensable for next season, after a disappointing Ryman South finish of 11th.
As it was, one man was the difference between the sides at the ramshackle home of Hendon FC.
Omari Coleman's forward play has stood out for Dulwich all season long, and it was fitting that the best player on show should grab the glory with two quick-fire second half goals in the space of 120 seconds.
It was tough on Tooting, who just have not been able to find a consistent winning formula all season. For all their enterprise, the Terrors just could not get that ball in the back of the net.
It was they that settled the quicker and tried to take advantage of Hamlet's play-off hangover.
Right winger Goma Lambu looked dangerous for Tooting and he was the first to threaten a goal in the seventh minute. He turned Dulwich skipper, and former Tooting favourite, Alex O'Brien on the wing before whipping in a tasty ball that Paul Seuke had to tip over his bar.
Another player facing his former club, Tooting striker Eben Allen, prodded just wide from James Husband's ninth minute free kick.
Former Dulwich manager, and now Tooting keeper, Les Cleevely had to be alert to smother Coleman's shot on the turn following a Scott Edgar flick-on on the quarter-hour mark.
Tooting were playing the better stuff but could not find the net. Scott Kinch saw his shot deflected off Dulwich's Julian Curnow after some tricks from Elliot Onochie in the box, but that was the nearest they came. Allen then headed a Husband free kick straight at Seuke, before Dulwich created two good chances just before half time. The first saw Kemal Bulent pump a long free kick into the box, only for David Moore to head past the post. The second was the best flowing move of the half that ended with Cleevely saving well from Edgar's head.
As the players made their way down the tunnel at half time there was some pushing and shoving as tempers flared - the sides have never been the best of friends.
The second half started slowly and it looked like Tooting were the likelier side. However, in the 54th minute they got a warning shot from Coleman who carved out a decent chance that Cleevely did well to get down and smother.
Four minutes later, Coleman had the ball in the net after he latched on to a long ball, outpaced the Tooting defence before poking past Cleevely - pure route one stuff. Tooting's composure obviously took a knock as they failed to pick up Coleman two minutes later as he sent the ball spinning past Cleevely with a superb diving header from a stunning Bulent delivery to make it 2-0.
Terrors manager Richard Cadette decided to change things as he hauled off Kinch and the disappointing Onochie, replacing them with Steven Cant and Durrand Jemmott. The move seemed to pay off as Tooting spent the final 15 minutes bombarding the Dulwich goal. Allen skewed a shot wide before Cant pulled another effort the wrong side of the post from distance.
Tooting deserved to pull a goal back, but Dulwich packed their own box for some last-ditch defending.
With five minutes to go, Hamlet somehow managed to keep the ball out of the goal after a Husband shot was cleared off the line and the follow-up was saved by Seuke.
Tooting then hit the bar, before the ball was sent across the face of goal, but no Terror was on hand to finish. Lambu hit the side-netting before Dulwich went up the other end, only for Cleevely to somehow keep out Edgar's free header with a save Gordon Banks would have been proud of.
The whistle saw fans invade the pitch. The Dulwich faithful proclaiming "we are the champions of London" and "we're the pride of South London".
Both sets of supporters were a credit to their clubs, travelling north to cheer on their local sides. And they can, at least, console themselves with the thought that, after disappointing campaigns, they have the Tooting-Dulwich derbies to look forward to next season.
Goals: Dulwich - Coleman (58, 60). Dulwich: Seuke, Amwoan (sic), Curnow, O'Brien, Bowen, Moore, Bulent, Edgar, Coleman (Nugent 89), Turley, Side. Not used: Quarm, Green, Kyezu, Bedford.
Tooting: Cleevely, Tanner (Lasbrey 40), Symes, Nwanze, Twin, Hunt, Lambu, Kinch (Cant 65), Onochie (Jemmott 65), Allen, Husband. Not used: Pinnock, Davies.

DHFC: Paul Seuke; Errison Ahwan, Julian Curnow; Alex O'Brien; Justin Bowen; David Moore; Kemal Bulent; Scott Edgar; Omari Coleman (Meshach Nugent 88); Jason Turley; Charley Side
Subs not used: Francis Quarm; Meshach Nugent; Ronnie Green; Aliy Kyezu; Russell Bedford.
Bookings: None
T&MFC: Les Cleevely, Craig Tanner (James Lasbrey 39), Steve Symes, Daniel Nwanze, Danny Twin, Oliver Hunt, Goma Lambu, Scott Kinch (Jason Pinnock 65), Elliot Onochie (Durrand Jemmott 65), Eben Allen, James Husband.
Subs not used: Stephen Cant, Jimmy Davies.
Bookings: None
Referee: O. Saliy
Assistants: R. Albert & M. Wise

Eede's verdict

May 11 2004
South London Press
VICTORIOUS Dulwich manager Martin Eede reckoned his side had the edge over rivals Tooting.
"I thought there was a bit of resolve there and the edge was always with us, even when parts of the game weren't," he said.
"It was pleasing to have something to show for our season after losing that play-off. Before the game we had a heart-to-heart. The players were marvellous in the way they managed to put Monday behind them. After that game a lot of them had to take a day off work, they were so gutted."
Eede added: "Although we didn't get what we wanted in promotion, after a terrific season which saw us get 84 points, and lose just eight games, we won something. I am pleased for the supporters, fans and everyone at the club. It was well-deserved."Eede said he will start to turn his attentions to who stays and who goes for next season later this month, adding: "I've not even thought about it yet.

Hamlet pay the penalty

May 7 2004
DULWICH 2 WEALDSTONE 2 Wealdstone win 5-4 on pens
Chris Fidler Reports From Champion Hill, South London Press
THERE were tears at Dog Kennel Hill on Monday night after a season that promised so much ended in despair for Dulwich.
Twice they were on the brink of beating Wealdstone in the biggest game of the season, and twice they blew it.
This was a time when it was acceptable for grown men to cry - because all their hard work over the past nine months had, ultimately counted for nothing. Wealdstone go up into the revamped Ryman Premier Division, while Dulwich, who accrued enough points to challenge for the championship in any other year, have missed the boat in the non-league revamp.
It was harsh on Dulwich who fought back from a poor first half showing to look certainties to win.
Those opening 45 minutes were a nervy affair for Martin Eede's side as the visitors created several good chances. But for the keeping of Paul Seuke, Hamlet would have been dead and buried by half time. He parried well from a fourth minute Dave Ryan free kick as Wealdstone settled first. Hamlet were struggling to create things and it took until the 18th minute for their first serious attack - but Craig Dundas dallied with the ball at his feet before firing against Andy Carter in the visitors' goal, then smacking the rebound against the post.
The visitors took the lead on 25 minutes when Seuke punched out Gary McKeown's free kick, but Martin Carter thumped the ball in to the net from all of 30 yards.
Seuke then brilliantly tipped a dipping cross on to the bar, and from the resulting corner showed great reactions to palm Ryan's close-range piledriver round the post. In stoppage time, Jolly's snapshot hit the post after Lee Doherty and Jason Curnow gifted the centre-forward possession on the edge of the box.
Dulwich had escaped, and four minutes after the break got the equaliser. There looked to be no danger as player of the year Omari Coleman ran down the left flank, but he whipped a cross to the far post where Charlie Side bundled home from close range.
Coleman and Dundas were starting to really stretch the Wealdstone back four - the former having a personal duel with Carter in the away goal. On 56 minutes Carter blocked Coleman's shot following good work from Dundas. On the hour Dundas saw a shot blocked by Carter as Dulwich, driven on by their influential skipper Alex O'Brien in midfield, dominated.
On 67 minutes Carter again thwarted Coleman, after the striker latched onto Francis Quarm's through-ball, and turned his marker only to see his shot palmed away.
Coleman finally got the better of Carter in the 79th minute when he hammered the keeper's parry from a Dundas strike home to make it 2-1 to Dulwich.
All Hamlet had to do was hold on, but Wealdstone got the equaliser with six minutes to go. A clumsy Dulwich challenge gifted Ryan a free kick on the edge of the box and he fired it low through the defensive wall into the net.
Either side could have won it in an absorbing extra-time battle. Ben Alexander and Jolly went close for Wealdstone, Dundas had a goal ruled out for handball and Coleman was again thwarted by Carter.
So it went to penalties and Hamlet looked certainties to wrap up the tie when they went 4-3 up thanks to successful kicks from Lee Akers, Justin Bowen, Dundas, Coleman and a Seuke save from Ryan.
But substitute Meshach Nugent crashed what would have been the winner against the bar, then Wealdstone skipper Martin Carter hammered home to make it 4-4 and sudden death.
Dulwich substitute David Moore saw his shot saved by Carter and it was up to Jolly to give Wealdstone victory. As the ball hit the back of the net the 400-odd Wealdstone fans invaded the pitch as the Dulwich players fought back the tears.
A side that finished 10 points off the top of the table looked as though they had been relegated. But knowing the character in the side, they will bounce back.

Teams:
DHFC: Paul Seuke; Lee Doherty (Lee Akers 118); Julian Curnow; Alex O'Brien; Justin Bowen; Jason Turley; Kemal Bulent (Meshach Nugent 118); Francis Quarm; Omari Coleman; Craig Dundas; Charley Side (David Moore 77)
Substitutes not used: Errison Ahwan; Scott Edgar
WFC: Andy Carter; Jason Shaw (Tommy Williams 71); Gary Burrell; Dave Ryan; Danny Butler; Martin Carter; Matt Carvell; Gary McKeown; Marvin Morgan (Ben Alexander 95); Richard Jolly; James Duncan
Substitutes not used: Alon Hemmerdinger; Brett Freeman; Danny Tilbury
Mr Tony Mason
Mr Steve Roots, Mr Darren Sheldrake (4th Mr Paul Martin)

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.

A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.