Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Nuts'n'Bolts Screw Up A Hamlet Christmas

Ashford Town 1 Dulwich Hamlet 0

Ryman Isthmian League Division One South

Saturday 23rd December 2006


"Twas the game before Christmas,

when all round the ground,

not a face bore a smile,

for the Hamlet had been downed"

Not strictly true for the visages belonging to those of an Ashford persuasion bore the megawatt grins of young tots who had awoken on Christmas morn to find Saint Nick had deposited the latest PS2 at the foot of their tree. Hamlet though wore the crestfallen expression of those who had peered in their festive stockings deep in anticipation only to find a mouldy tangerine and a lump of coal. The Nuts and Bolts, slowly negotiating their way out of a barren wasteland of results that had left them marooned in a relegation dogfight, must believe in Father Christmas after this battling performance, one that saw them harry a hapless Hamlet at every turn, create 90% of the chances, yet somehow find themselves hanging on at the death to claim three points more precious to them than any gift aboard Santa's sleigh.

Ashford made two changes from their last outing, a 3-0 thumping at Tooting, as former Hamlet man John Cumberbatch, now sole manager of the Nuts and Bolts, prepared to do battle with his one-time employers. His counterpart for the Hamlet, Wayne Burnett, had no such worries, an unchanged starting XI named from victory over Cray a week previous though Sol Pinnock was absent from the bench, Daniel Jones there in his stead.

The fog that had smothered London and benighted most of the country for a week had dissipated by the anointed time of kick-off but still the Kent hinterlands wore a matt grey mantle, the flat winter light failing to illuminate Ashford's imperiously isolated Homelands stadium. A brief spark from the Hamlet tried its best to spread some light across a dull scenario but the hosts were pugnacious in their play, tenacious in the tackle. If one had imagined the humble hosts to be Christians, awaiting slaughter by the rampaging lions of the Hamlet on the floor of their own temple, that vision was soon shattered. At times the lions played like the lost sheep, bleating in the wilderness as their shepherd search in vain.

Plying his trade in the Premier Division until impecunious Folkestone cut him from the payroll, the tricky Walid Matata emphasised his threat as he skipped away from a rigid Hamlet rearguard only to drive wide with just ‘keeper Simon Overland to beat. Not long after strike partner George Fenwick repeated that feat of escapology, this time Overland blocking his effort.

Custodian Overland had seemed overly nervous on his return to the Homelands where he had spent most of the season on loan from Dagenham but when he spilled a tame shot from Drew Watkins, one could have little idea that mistake would prove the catalyst for the game's ultimate decider. Picking off Ken Jarrett-Elliott's corner seemed a doodle for the big keeper who had been a colossus on his debut the week before but as the tall striker Fenwick challenged for the cross, Overland seemed to punch the ball into his own net though the goal was credited to his tormentor in green.

Ashford and in particular Matata continued to torture the Hamlet defence. Had it not been for a fine last ditch tackle from Lewis Tozer, the striker might have doubled the lead. Not till the half hour did Hamlet muster a threat worthy of the name, the ball launched forwards for Shawn Beveney to flick into the path of Chris Dickson only for Jake Whincup to produce a stunning piece of reactionary defence, flicking the ball one-handed off the toes of Dickson as he attempted to sweep the ball past the onrushing custodian. A rare clearing in a green-strewn midfield allowed Phil Williams space to shift up a gear and attack, driving forwards before slipping the ball out to Beveney, overlapping on the right but the big Guyanese elected to shoot from the most impossible of angles and the chance had gone. A moment later and Hamlet's best chance of the afternoon so far. Dickson to the goal line, slipping the leash of his marker and finding David Moore. A fierce drive, Whincup down for a cracking low save but one that should have counted for naught as Williams showed strength to reach the loose ball only to lash it wildly high and wide of the mark. Almost as if to rub slat into the wounds, as half-time neared Matata had yet another opening to extend the lead, Dulwich caught cold as a foul on Kenny Beaney went unpunished. Veering through the chicanes of the Hamlet defence with the élan of a Schumacher, Matata's finishing would let him down as the final striker rattled into the hoardings behind the goal.

Had harsh words fallen upon Hamlet ears at the break, they had failed to take root for the errors were exacerbated as Overland allowed an early free kick to ricochet off his chest, Fenwick unable to capitalise as he hammered the rebound wide from an acute angle. An instant later Ashford had forced a corner. Amid a mêlée of green and white, pink and blue (Not the next series of Changing Rooms, but the Dulwich six-yard box), Overland found some redemption for his earlier sins clawing the ball to safety as the green hordes menaced. Suddenly a spark of chance for the Hamlet. Dickson electric on the right, hammering a low cross into the area, an inviting ball but one the waiting Moore could not reach to add the final icing on a promising move.

A fire had been lit in Hamlet bellies, one that threatened to burst into full conflagration as the Ashford tackling moved from determined to desperate. A two-footed lunge from Watkins saw him cautioned before Jarrett-Elliott reacted in dramatic fashion to Gavin Dayes' industrial challenge, provoking an unseemly set-to, both protagonists added to referee Irvine Woodward's roll of shame for their misdeeds.

Matata, who by now should have made the match ball his personal property, sliced through the tender heart of the Hamlet defence but at the death struck his effort wide. Dulwich substitute Daniel Jones, on for Williams, had an excellent chance to throw the Hamlet a lifeline at the end of a classic move, Jamie Coyle finding him clear on the left of the penalty area. Whincup, last line of defence, but from the gluey ground Jones could not muster a finish to beat him.

The finishing hoodoo that had cast its spell found its next victim in the industrious, if ill-starred, Matata who could have driven the Clapham Omnibus through the glaring gap down the middle though a pantechnicon might have been more accurate with the finish. A goal there would have made the final minutes a formality but the Nuts and Bolts, having given their all, found themselves the doors upon which the battering rams of the Hamlet were pounding. Somehow they survived a shout for a penalty as Beaney had his legs taken from him. Somehow they survived, by the skin of their teeth, by the width of a coat of paint as Beaney lashed in an excellent cross from the left wing, met by an airborne header from surrogate striker Dayes that left Whincup standing but flew a fraction wide of the top corner.

Results elsewhere meant Dulwich had the Christmas Number One, but this was an off-key performance more St Winifred's School Choir than Pink Floyd.

Teams:

ATFC: Jake Whincup; Anthony Allman; Simon Glover; Tom Adlington (Capt); Marc Cumberbatch; Kevin Lott; Drew Watkins (Joe Hitchings 82); Matt Carruthers; Walid Matata; George Fenwick; Ken Jarrett-Elliott

Substitutes not used: Ian Ross; Luke Coleman; Jamie Leggett

DHFC: Simon Overland; Lewis Tozer; Gavin Dayes; Justyn Roberts; Jamie Coyle (Capt); Jake Daniel; David Moore (Nicolas Plumain 82); Kenny Beaney; Shawn Beveney; Chris Dickson; Phil Williams (Daniel Jones 63)

Substitutes not used: Cedric Meeko, Jason Turley, Billy Warner

Attendance: 210

Officials:

Referee: Mr Irvine Woodward

Assistant Referees: Mr Simon Finnigan, Mr Adam Bowen

Goalscoring:

1-0 ATFC: George Fenwick 21st minute

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