Crowborough Athletic 0 Dulwich Hamlet 7

Crowborough Athletic 0 Dulwich Hamlet 7
Ryman Isthmian League Division One South
Saturday 15th November 2008

Crow shooting season is officially open, newcomers to the Isthmian League cruelly put to the slaughter by a rampant Dulwich on golden late autumn day in the Weald. Not since Hungerford have the Hamlet’s travelling band been treated to such a massacre,
A golden day for Laurent Hamici, the rosbif with Gallic flair. The silent assassin leading the charge with a sublime hat trick, the goals of the Hamlet leading hitman sweetly complemented by an excellently finished quartet from his colleagues. But for the heroics of the overworked Mark Oldroyd between the sticks for the hosts the scoreline might have flown into double figures, a new mark chalked up in the annals of Hamlet history.
The Crows have had a heady baptism in the Isthmian League, just three victories to their credit in the current campaign though on their last outing they had stunned impecunious Folkestone upon their own turf. That triumph had instilled new hope in Steve Johnson’s men though ill fortune struck when injury robbed them of leading scorers Wayne Clarke and Gavin Gordon, whose shared 23 goals out of 32 had provided a rare chink of light in a mostly barren season.
The Hamlet were without Walid Matata, forced off in victory against Chipstead, Fasineh Koroma coming into an otherwise unchanged starting XI.
Dulwich began with majestic football, intuitive, quick touches on a shaggy pitch, already in its winter coat and dotted with fallen autumnal leaves, tricky perhaps but not for the Hamlet men who darted here and there, rhythmic, a tad faster than their hosts. Hamici knew it was to be his day. His body language cried out confidence. Lithe and fluent, a touch of arrogance, Six minutes passed and out of nowhere, Hamici opened the scoring. There seemed little opportunity, little danger when a slither of passes saw the ball end at the feet of Hamici fully thirty yards from goal. Without a second thought the Dulwich striker, his eyes on the prize, turned and rifled a shot low and hard towards goal. Perhaps surprised Oldroyd reactions were delayed, ball zipping low inside his right hand post as he belated flung himself across goal but in vain.
Hamici’s gluttony for goals has polarised some but his value cannot be weighted in goals alone. Had Oldroyd not battered out the close range effort of Scott Simpson, it might have been scored one made one, as Hamici lashed the ball low across the face of the six yard box to his strike partner. Electric Hamlet were buzzing, the heavy battalion thrown forward for a corner, industrious defending at last clearing the ball after the ball bounced bagatelle-like across the six yard box. With the Lunan Launch much in evidence, the home goal came under aerial bombardment on a regular basis, Oldroyd marking a brave block at the feet of Cedric Ngakam. Soon through the defence would be breached once more. Daryl Plummer found an extra gear to power past Crows’ skipper Justin Harris, the one-time Lewes defender, left in the wake of the flying winger and the gentlest of tugs upon the shoulder of Plummer sent him tumbling to the turf as burst into the box. Harris’ protestations of innocence bore no truck with referee Mr Rendell, and a yellow card was flashed in the face of the Crowborough captain. All the while Hamici had been awaiting his moment, the ball parked on the penalty spot as Oldroyd ruin through the gamut of Grobbelaar-esque distraction techniques, walking to the ball to confront his protagonist before taking his place on the goalline, springing like Zebedee on acid. Unfazed Hamici took a step up to the ball, no more no less, and calmness personified rolled the ball low into the bottom left hand corner of the net.
Five minutes before the break a needlessly conceded free kick saw Plummer’s name enter Mr Rendell’s pocket book. A somnambulating defence almost paid double as full back Dave Soutar glided in at the back of the six yard box, his first time strike on target but comfortably gathered low by Jamie Lunan.
On the stroke of half-time Dulwich drove an almost fatal stake into the heart of Crows hopes. The big boys were up for a corner, won by the steadfast refusal of Simpson to surrender a lost cause as he chased an overhit pass to the back line. Ngakam worried the defence with his towering presence to ball eventually dropping to his skipper, Marc Cumberbatch who swung a mighty boot at the ball as it dropped to him, Oldroyd scrabbling fingers getting a touch on the burning ball but only to divert it into the roof of the net.
There was no let up for the Crows after the break but to their credit they were not swayed from the philosophy of football. The teams of Steve Johnson and his partner in crime on the bench, Harry Smith, nine years and counting in the hot seat, have always reflected in belief in the game as she should be played, with style, with elegance, with honesty, a fatal error today perhaps. The Crows may have called upon the services of the Sussex journeymen, men of good heart, but these are not of yeoman stock, calloused palms, iron lungs, who in past lives might have had those same lungs blackened by the smog of the forge as they manned the bellows. Artist not artisans swell the ranks of the Crows but against the Hamlet’s thundering herd, those same artists were made as if to be the naifs of the playground, not the masters of the Uffizi and the Prado. Mesmerised but never seemingly demoralised, brief glimpses of a Crowborough fight back swirled out of the gloom that had enveloped the home faithful. Dulwich goal under early siege but lifted swiftly as the Hamlet broke those shackles, Benson Paka floating in a deep, deep cross to the back of the box where it found the unlikely head of Plummer, a looping header leaving Oldroyd clutching at the ether as it dropped into the net behind him.
‘Ere the hour mark had slipped by, the Crows were in tatters, the RSPCA’s hotline burning red as fewterer Edwards unleashing his pack upon the cowering hosts. Quicksilver in his boots, adrenalin pumping, Hamici tore into the blue flank with the savagery of a deerhound upon a wounded stag. Low and hard he drilled the ball across the face of the penalty area Koroma gleefully pouncing upon the ball to larrup it high into the net past Oldroyd, Aunt Sally in a fairground pitch’n’toss.
Centre-stage once, the spotlight fell upon Hamici as he completed his hat trick 5 minutes later, powering away from the last line of defence before tucking the ball past an exposed Oldroyd.
A brutal challenge left Plummer curled in agony upon the floor, the tackle made more distasteful for the dearth of bad blood in the game. One aging wag in the crowd took umbrage, threatened harm upon the referee’s car, his threat greeted with a grin and the revelation said car belonged to ‘er indoors. However the brutality of the Hamlet offence was more shocking, Gary Noel replaced the injured Plummer and moments later was a deflection away from making it seven. Paka galloped away down the left as Crowborough scanned the touchline for offside flag that never came, his effort beaten out by Oldroyd straight to Noel who swung a leg at the rebound only for a defender’s limb to send the ball curling wide. Still the replacement would not have long to add another notch to Hamlet history. Lunan’s free kick seemed overhit as Crowborough pushed their defence up high but Cumberbatch had slipped under the radar, harrying Oldroyd as he fumbled the bouncing ball. With the custodian struggling to regain his ground, Cumberbatch swivelled and slipped the ball across the goal to where Noel was waiting to spank the ball into the net. The rout was complete but time still remained. The Crows threatened briefly, perhaps dissuading the gentleman upon the dressing room for taking a leap, his depression lifted a little by a sterling display of close range shot stopping from Oldroyd, denying Simpson with an acrobatic low one-handed save, repeating the feat within a minute, the saves sandwiching a Hamici drive that whizzed past the far post. Reward for Oldroyd’s busy day and bulging net was man of the match, testimony to the dominance of the Red Army as belligerent in attack as Moscow’s finest, its play as melodious as its most excellent choirs.

Teams:
CAFC: Mark Oldroyd; Tom Boddy; David Soutar; Justin Harris (Capt.); Andy Ducille; Matt Foreman; Kieran Wilson; Luke Gedling; Luke Fontana; John Sinclair; Brendan Sebulida (Ross Campbell 66)
Substitutes not used: James Pallett, Craig Bishop

DHFC: Jamie Lunan; Peter Martin; Billy Chattaway (Kyle Graham 77); Benson Paka; Cedric Ngakam; Marc Cumberbatch; Daryl Plummer (Gary Noel 65); Stanley Muguo; Laurent Hamici; Fasineh Koroma (Junior Kaffo 82); Scott Simpson
Substitutes not used: Famoud Sonko; Sheikh Ceesay

Goalscoring:
1-0 DHFC Laurent Hamici 6th minute
2-0 DHFC Laurent Hamici 33rd minute (penalty)
3-0 DHFC Marc Cumberbatch 45th minute
4-0 DHFC Daryl Plummer 51st minute
5-0 DHFC Fasineh Koroma 60th minute
6-0 DHFC Laurent Hamici 65th minute
7-0 DHFC Gary Noel 72nd minute

Officials:
Referee: Mr Lloyd Rendell
Assistant Referees: Mr Anthony Rawlings & Mr Michael O’Keefe